Thinking Errors (Cognitive Distortions)

I felt like a complete failure as I walked off the stage, my face burning with humiliation…

The big annual conference was supposed to be my chance to shine, but instead, I fumbled my way through the worst presentation of my career.

As the next speaker was being introduced, I replayed the cringe-worthy moments in my head - stammering over my first slide, nearly dropping my notecards, and losing my train of thought partway through. By the end, I just wanted to sink into the floor.

Later, as I berated myself over coffee, a well-meaning colleague stopped by. "We all have off days," she said gently. "Try not to be so hard on yourself." But it was no use - my inner critic was in full swing, labeling me an imposter fraud who would never live this down.

In truth, public speaking anxiety is common. But in that moment, flooded by feelings of shame and failure, it was impossible for me to see reason.

I'd allowed one bad experience to define my entire sense of self…

Thinking Errors… We All Struggle With Them

Sometimes when things don't go right, bad thoughts come rushing in. Like when my alarm didn't ring and I was late, I told myself "This day will be trouble from start to end".

But often the trouble is just in our talking, not in what really happens. That day wasn't so bad after all.

Or the time a friend said my dress looked good, but I said: "No, I'm too fat". Why did I say that instead of feeling happy?

And when we think someone we love is doing something hurtful like my client thought her husband was having an affair and didn't love her anymore, “because he was late”.

It seems you're caught in cognitive distortions, which I like to call “thinking errors”. These are unhelpful, inaccurate, and negative thought patterns that often mask deeper insecurities.

When these errors become a regular part of your thought process, they can shape how you listen and engage in conversations, potentially impacting your relationships and the big picture.

The first step in addressing these thinking errors is to recognize their presence.

What Do We Mean by Thinking Errors? A Definition

Thinking errors, also known as cognitive distortions, are self-defeating thinking patterns that can really mess with your head, often without you even realizing it.

Most of us have thinking errors at some point, but the tricky part is that we’re usually not aware of them. It’s like having a pair of glasses that distort everything you see, making situations and yourself appear much worse than they actually are.

During emotional times, these thinking errors kick into high gear, leading to intense emotions and sometimes even self-destructive behavior.

So, what exactly are thinking errors?

They’re thoughts that don’t line up with reality. Imagine you’re having a rough day at work, and you start thinking, "I’m terrible at my job. I’m going to get fired." In reality, you might have just made a small mistake, but your mind blows it out of proportion. That’s a thinking error in action.

These distorted thoughts often have negative consequences. They twist our perception, casting a shadow over situations and making us see things in an excessively negative light. It’s like looking at the world through a dark, gloomy filter.

And the worst part? We usually perceive these thoughts as the absolute truth, which can lead to a downward spiral of negative emotions.

Thinking errors are closely linked to emotional disorders and can seriously affect your mental health. They can fuel anxiety, depression, and a host of other emotional issues.

What Leads to the Development of Thinking Errors?

Thinking errors often stem from a mix of past experiences, familial influences, and our natural tendency to focus on the negative.

Imagine growing up in a household where a family member always sees things in black and white, with no gray areas, and no middle ground. Over time, you might start to adopt that same all-or-nothing mindset, thinking in extremes without even realizing it.

Traumatic or highly stressful events can also prime the mind to fall into these cognitive distortions often leading to maladaptive reasoning.

The Consequences of Uncorrected Thinking Errors

When thinking errors go uncorrected, they can wreak havoc on various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional performance and mental well-being.

Cognitive distortions can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress, creating a vicious cycle of negative thinking that distorts reality.

Miscommunications and incorrect assumptions about others' intentions can strain relationships, and this skewed perception can even contribute to the development or worsening of mental health disorders.

How Therapists Spot Thinking Errors

Therapists have a keen eye for identifying thinking errors in their patients, primarily using cognitive therapy techniques. They listen closely to how patients describe their experiences and pay attention to the language used.

Often, therapists will ask patients to jot down their thoughts in specific situations to discover patterns of irrational thinking or cognitive distortions.

By analyzing these descriptions, therapists can identify specific errors like mind reading, catastrophizing, or discounting positive experiences. This allows therapists to help patients challenge and change these distortions, steering them towards more rational and balanced thinking patterns, and helping them see things more clearly and react more appropriately to life’s ups and downs.

Common Thinking Errors (With Examples)

All or Nothing Thinking (Black and White Thinking)

• Definition: This cognitive distortion involves viewing situations, outcomes, or people in extreme terms, either all good or all bad, with no middle ground or shades of gray.
  • Characteristics: Binary Thinking: This type of thinking divides experiences into two categories with no in-between. You might see yourself as either a complete success or a total failure, with no recognition of partial achievements or shortcomings.
  • Desire for Perfection: Often, all-or-nothing thinking is driven by a desire for perfection. If something isn’t done perfectly, it’s perceived as a total failure.
  • Examples: If I miss one workout, I’ve completely ruined my fitness progress.
  • If my artwork isn’t gallery-worthy, it’s worthless.
  • If I make one social mistake, it means I’m terrible at making friends.
  • If I don’t follow every parenting guideline perfectly, I’m failing as a parent.
  • If I don’t exercise every day, I might as well not exercise at all.
  • I forgot a line during my speech, the entire presentation was a disaster.
  • If I don’t complete every exercise in my routine, my workout is worthless.

Generalizing

• Definition: This cognitive distortion involves making broad, sweeping conclusions based on a single incident or piece of evidence. It often involves using words like "always" or "never" to describe a situation, leading to the belief that a negative experience will repeat indefinitely.
  • Characteristics: Single Incident: This thinking pattern takes one negative event and generalizes it to all situations, creating a pervasive sense of failure or hopelessness.
  • Use of Absolutes: The words "always" and "never" are commonly used, reinforcing the idea that the negative outcome is constant and inevitable.
  • Examples: I asked someone out and got rejected, so no one ever wants to date me.
  • I didn’t get this job, so I’ll never find a job.
  • I messed up my last presentation, I’ll always be bad at speaking in public.

Selective Negative Focus (Tunnel Vision)

• Definition: This cognitive distortion involves focusing exclusively on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring any positive or neutral details. It leads to the conclusion that the entire situation is negative based on a selective and biased view.
  • Characteristics: Neglect of Positives: Positive outcomes or neutral details are overlooked, and only the negative aspects are emphasized.
  • Distorted Perception: This thinking pattern creates a skewed perception of reality, where negative details dominate one's view of a situation.
  • Examples: You receive test results showing you answered 95 out of 100 questions correctly, but you fixate on the 5 you got wrong, believing you did poorly.
  • Your boss gives you a performance review with mostly positive comments and one area for improvement. You focus solely on the criticism, thinking you are doing a bad job.
  • You play a great game and help your team win, but you focus on the one mistake you made, feeling like you let everyone down.

Suppressing the Positive

Definition: You dismiss any information that contradicts your negative outlook and often find clever ways to invalidate positive feedback.

Examples:

• When someone tells you that you look nice, you quickly respond by saying they don't know what they're talking about.
• You receive recognition for your hard work, but you brush it off by thinking the person is just being nice.

Unfair Comparison

Definition: You consistently measure yourself and your achievements against those who appear to have more, which often results in feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Examples:

• You look at a friend’s career and feel they are more successful than you.
• You visit a friend's home and feel unhappy with your own house, even though you were content with it before.
• You see photos of a classmate's vacation on social media and feel disappointed with your own recent holiday.
• You compare your workout progress to someone who has been training for years and feels discouraged about your own fitness level.
• You compare your child's academic achievements to another child who consistently gets higher grades, leaving you feeling dissatisfied with your child's performance.

Jumping to Conclusions

Definition: You hastily form a negative conclusion without considering all the facts or the overall context.

Examples:

• A colleague declines your request for help, and you immediately assume they dislike you.
• You see a friend with someone else and instantly think they don't want to spend time with you anymore.
• Your boss doesn't respond to your email right away, and you conclude that they're unhappy with your work.
• Your partner is quiet during dinner, and you assume they are upset with you, without asking what's actually on their mind.
• You don't receive an immediate text back from a friend, and you think they are ignoring you intentionally.

Mind-Reading

Definition: You assume you know what someone else is thinking and react based on that assumption without verifying its accuracy.

Examples:

• You notice a friend seems distracted during a conversation and assume they are bored or uninterested in what you're saying.
• At a party, you see someone looking in your direction and believe they are judging you negatively, leading you to feel self-conscious.
• During a team meeting, a colleague doesn't acknowledge your suggestion, and you conclude that they think your idea is worthless.

Negative Predictions/Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Definition: You anticipate something bad happening, believe it will come true, and act as if it already has, which often brings about the feared outcome.

Examples:

• You predict your presentation will fail, which causes you to perform poorly due to anxiety.
• You assume you’ll be rejected if you apply for a prestigious program, so you don’t apply and miss the chance.

Magnify

Definition: You exaggerate the significance of a situation or event.

Examples:

• Your partner declines intimacy due to tiredness, and you immediately think they are having an affair and will leave you soon.
• You make a small error at work and believe it will lead to your termination.
• You forget to bring an important document to a meeting and feel like it will ruin your entire professional reputation.

Minimize

Definition: You ignore clear information and downplay significant details.

Examples:

• Your partner comes home late every night with no explanation, and despite the suspicious behavior, you convince yourself they are just working overtime.
• You experience health issues but disregard the need to see a doctor, believing the symptoms are not serious despite evidence to the contrary.
• You achieve a major accomplishment, but you downplay it by telling yourself it wasn’t a big deal or anyone could have done it.
• You consistently exceed your targets at work, but you attribute it to luck rather than your hard work and skill.

How It Should Be Statement

Definition: You have rigid rules about how things should be and how you and others should behave, leading to frustration when these standards aren't met.

Examples:

• Your doctor is ten minutes late for your appointment, and you become very angry because you believe everyone should always be punctual.
• A friend doesn’t return your call within the timeframe you expect, and you feel betrayed.

Labeling

Definition: You assign a negative label to someone based on a single trait or action and then treat them according to that label.

Examples:

• You learn that someone is unemployed and label them as lazy.
• After someone makes a mistake at work, you label them as incompetent and disregard their future contributions or ideas.

Involve Yourself

Definition: You assume an event or conversation is related to you, even when it’s not, and take it personally.

Examples:

• At work, a group of colleagues is chatting, and you immediately assume they are discussing you, even though they are talking about a project unrelated to you.
• You see people whispering in a corner at a social event and think they are talking about you, causing discomfort.

Misconceptions About Fairness

Definition: You believe that life should always be fair, and you become upset or distressed when you perceive injustice.

Examples:

• You work hard on a team project, but a colleague gets the recognition and promotion, leading you to quit your job because you feel it’s unfair.
• You are passed over for a reward or recognition, and you become disillusioned, believing that life is inherently unjust.

Reward Misconceptions

Definition: You expect to be rewarded or acknowledged every time you do something good, and feel unappreciated when this doesn’t happen. This is as if you expect all your sacrifice and self-denial should be noticed and paid off.

Examples:

• You help a coworker with a task, expecting a thank you or recognition, and feel upset when you don’t receive any acknowledgment.
• You complete a challenging assignment and anticipate praise from your supervisor, feeling disappointed when it’s not given.

Misconceptions About Control

Definition: You believe you should be in control of everything around you, and become upset when circumstances are beyond your control.

Examples:

• Your food burns because you had to attend to your child and didn’t hear the kitchen timer, leading you to feel frustrated with yourself for not managing everything perfectly.

Doom-Mongering

Definition: You predict disaster in every situation, leading to excessive worry and fear about potential negative outcomes.

Examples:

• You go to a job interview and immediately fear that you won’t get the job, and even if you do, you’ll be fired.
• You’re planning a trip and worry that everything will go wrong, from travel delays to bad weather, leading you to dread the entire experience.

Accusing Others

Definition: You blame others for your problems and fail to take responsibility for your own actions or contributions.

Examples:

• You receive a speeding ticket and blame your child for distracting you while driving, rather than considering your own responsibility in the situation.
• You fail to meet a deadline and blame your coworkers for not providing the necessary support.

Blaming Yourself

Definition: You attribute all problems and difficulties to yourself, ignoring the role that others might play or external factors.

Examples:

• You make a mistake at work and immediately blame yourself, disregarding any external factors that contributed to the error.
• You struggle in a social situation and blame yourself for not being able to connect with others, rather than considering that the situation or others' behaviors may also be factors.

Superstitious Thinking

Definition: You make illogical connections between events, believing that certain actions or patterns will lead to specific outcomes.

Examples:

• You think that if you enjoy a particular activity, it will inevitably lead to something bad happening shortly afterward.

Always Being Right

Definition: You feel the need to prove that your opinions and actions are correct at all costs, leading to defensiveness and avoidance of admitting mistakes. This often involves arguing persistently to validate your point and dismissing others' feelings or perspectives.

Examples:

• You argue vehemently about a minor detail in a discussion, insisting that your version of events is the only correct one, even when presented with evidence to the contrary.
• You refuse to acknowledge any possibility of misunderstanding, insisting that your interpretation of a conversation or situation is valid.
• When a mistake is pointed out, you become defensive and attempt to justify your actions instead of considering the possibility that you might be at fault.

How to Combat Thinking Errors

To effectively challenge thinking errors, use the following questions to evaluate and correct distorted thoughts.

It's easiest to do this when you’re not emotionally charged. Reflect on whether your thoughts are negative or distorted by asking:

• What evidence supports or contradicts this thought? Assess if your belief is grounded in facts or mere assumptions.

• Have past experiences shown this thought to be inaccurate? Recall instances where your belief didn’t hold true.

• What would the general consensus be if I asked 100 people? Consider how others might view your thoughts.

• Will I perceive this differently in the future? Imagine how your perspective might change over time.

• What impact does this thought have on me? Reflect on the emotional effect of your thought.

• Are there other ways to view this situation? Explore different angles and explanations.

• How do my thoughts shift when I’m calm versus emotional? Determine if your viewpoint changes with your emotional state.

• What strategies helped me feel better in similar situations before? Use past experiences to guide your current approach.

• Are there strengths or positives in this situation? Identify any positive aspects or personal strengths.

• Am I unfairly blaming myself for factors beyond my control? Evaluate if you’re taking responsibility for things you cannot influence.

• Would this thought stand up to scrutiny in a logical or judicial setting? Consider how a fair assessment might judge your thoughts.

Transforming Thinking Errors into Positive Thoughts

To overcome thinking errors, start by recognizing and addressing distorted thoughts.

Changing established thinking patterns takes time and practice. Here’s how to initiate this transformation:

• Pause Before Acting: Take time to think through your responses instead of reacting on impulse.

• Be a Critical Thinker: Assess situations carefully rather than letting emotions dictate your actions.

• Don’t Overwhelm Yourself with Small Errors: Avoid letting minor mistakes have an outsized impact on your mood.

• Challenge Your Thoughts: Be willing to question and reassess your own thinking patterns.

• Manage Your Thought Processes: Focus on guiding your thoughts, rather than being controlled by them.

• Replace Negatives with Positives: Actively substitute negative thoughts with more constructive ones.

• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with people who provide support and encouragement.

• Avoid Comparisons: Concentrate on your own progress rather than comparing yourself to others.

• Practice Consistently: Regularly apply these techniques to develop healthier thinking habits.

Types of Therapy to Address Thinking Errors

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

Individuals learn to challenge and evaluate their automatic thoughts and beliefs for accuracy. Through cognitive restructuring, they replace negative and irrational thoughts with more realistic and positive ones.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT is a specialized form of CBT designed to address emotional regulation issues and borderline personality disorder.

DBT combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness skills. It helps individuals accept their feelings while working on changing unhelpful behaviors and thoughts.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT focuses on accepting thoughts and feelings rather than struggling against them, promoting psychological flexibility.

ACT integrates acceptance strategies with commitment and behavior-change techniques. It encourages individuals to accept their emotions and move forward without being hindered by them.

The Cherry on Top

Just as we dedicate ourselves to improving our physical health, whether by hitting the gym or following a healthy diet, our mental fitness deserves equal attention and effort.

Prioritizing mental well-being involves actively challenging and reshaping distorted thought patterns, especially when they stem from feelings rather than facts. Emotions can drive irrational thinking and emotional distress, so it’s crucial to address these mental processes with the same intention and diligence we apply to our physical health.